so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
