super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
sex in a hospital.. check
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
