now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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