They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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