We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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