it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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