Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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