So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
