I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
