We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
if you like me you must not know who I am
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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