well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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