WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
