Having a random hookup so left but love u
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
