I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
