shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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