Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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