Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
