We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
