wakey wakey hands off snakey
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
