I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
This is the high leading the old right now
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
There's even glitter on my cock...
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