This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
