It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
