Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
