I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
