You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
