from now on my penis is your penis
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
