i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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