home. puking in laundry basket.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
