Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i already hear my dad disowning me
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
