TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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