even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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