I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
