i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
the liver wants what the liver wants
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Randomize
