this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
