My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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