Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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