I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
