A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
