The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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