so explain again why im purple
no
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
