Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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