If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
