What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
