i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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