would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
