wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
