so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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