My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
