It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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