why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
