gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
