Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
