On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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