So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
