but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
