My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she woke up with a sticky ear
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
