my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
