When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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