he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Send help, water and tortillas.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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