the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
