i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
