Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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