I didn't shave. On purpose
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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