I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
