I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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