did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
