Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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