I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
