3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He felt like a one man threesome
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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