She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
