I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
