if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Come on in and take your pants off
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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